Thursday, June 17, 2010
No Means No?
I know that I am essentially centuries behind in this find, but I have recently picked up The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz and have been truly affected by its premise. The book asks to be impeccable with one's word, not to take anything personally, to not make assumptions, and to always try one's best. Doesn't that make sense on every level? I have certainly been extremely loose with my word and, on a daily basis, say things that are not only little "white" lies, but which also bind me to actions, promises, or feelings which I don't want to express or conduct.
How does one learn how to say no? I remember a few years ago Queen Oprah had a show in which she proclaimed that her greatest accomplishment was the ability to say no. I haven't mastered this attribute yet and, to be honest, I'm not even sure if I have truly tried to ever attain it. I say yes when people ask me to join them somewhere, I say yes to others' comments with which I don't agree, and say yes by being silent when one is insulting me (see post below, uhhhgggg). Why can't I just say no?
I have not been raised in a family and culture where it is perfectly acceptable to say what one thinks while being respectful but also confident and stable in one's opinions and beliefs. Yet, somewhere along the way I yearned to please and to be liked and to have friends who love me, and to have companions who adored me... and what about me liking myself?
With the recent developments at work, I have decided that there is no way out for me but through "No". No will liberate me from boring events, obnoxious conversations, and a spiral to insecurities.
Let's say it all together now : "No"!!!